


i've put him inside my heart. is that okay?

by seclusion



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Developing Relationship, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Relationship Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27576713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seclusion/pseuds/seclusion
Summary: that's okay. that's okay, i don't think he would mind. let yourself dream, for once.
Relationships: Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru
Comments: 8
Kudos: 61





	i've put him inside my heart. is that okay?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eliasisbiased](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eliasisbiased/gifts).



> thank you for being my friend and talking to me about haikyuu!!
> 
> this takes place after prelims for spring tournament, a little while before the third years are to graduate.

Shigeru sits on a riverbank, school bag lying on the soft grass to the side. There’s a breeze whipping through his hair, and it’s only slightly cold enough that the jacket he wears feels perfect. Behind him, he can hear Kindaichi’s screams. It’s probably Hanamaki and Matsukawa terrorizing him with bugs. The water doesn’t look particularly clean, yet Oikawa has just shoved Iwaizumi in. Oikawa’s howls join Kindaichi’s. There’s a stack of unfinished assignments he has yet to complete, and three tests tomorrow. He feels a sense of deep, soulful peace. 

Muscles straining, he leans backwards until his back meets the ground. Clouds drift slowly across the sky, edges beginning to tint pink from the sunset. Shigeru lets his eyes close slowly, savoring the timelessness. His body feels sore in a good way from the practice earlier, tendons stretched out. 

He opens his eyes a moment later; a shadow has fallen over him. Lined eyes meet his, accompanied by a nearly-permanent scowl. The wind skates along the river again, blowing at the back of Kyoutani’s shirt. It flies outwards and for a few seconds, Shigeru sees hardened abs. He thinks nothing of it.

For the time being. 

Fingers playing with a blade of grass, Shigeru only asks, “Do you want to sit here?”

Kyoutani gives a grunt, a yes, and Shigeru rolls over twice to give him a spot. Plopping down with a grunt, Kyoutani crosses his legs and arms, staring at the distant buildings. The clouds continue to move, orange blending with pink. 

“Do you need anything?”

The only response is a short, clipped “no”. Shigeru doesn’t pursue the matter further; he suspects it’ll only end in an argument. As long as Kyoutani didn’t seek him out to start a fight, he’s fine. 

As the sky continues to darken, the chatter of his teammates and buzz of dragonflies filling his ears, Shigeru feels that same tranquility return. Kyoutani’s back is a strong silhouette at the edges of his vision. He allows it to enter the timeless field around him and burns it into the moment, a permanent black mark. 

Idle, fleeting thoughts skim across his mind. Shigeru allows himself to be charitable, body relaxed. Kyoutani’s alright, he decides. He’s tolerable. I think we could maybe-

Cold water splatters across his face, jerking him out of his thoughts. Kyoutani has already shot up and is shouting at Oikawa, who had inadvertently splashed river water while playing. To the side, Watari laughs. 

“All my clothes are wet! Watch where you’re going! Do you not have any eyes in your head?”

Oikawa yells right back. “That’s an exaggeration! Only your pants are wet. Have some respect for your captain, Mad Dog-chan!”

“Shut the fuck up! My fucking _crotch_ is wet.” 

This only triggers cackling from Oikawa, only cut off when Iwaizumi slaps him on the back. “Ow, Iwa-chan!”

“My shirt is wet too, Oikawa-san.” Shigeru joins in, unable to keep the laughter out of his voice. “Besides, you’re the ex-captain now.”

“Damn right!” Hanamaki claps his shoulder, then lets out a snort. “That’s incredible. Wow.”

Shigeru turns to look, then dissolves into peals of laughter. Even in the near-dusk, the crotch of Kyoutani’s checkered pants is visibly stained. He only laughs harder when Kyoutani barks, “What are you looking at?”

>:[

They do become friends, of sorts. Shigeru isn’t too sure. Maybe not like Iwaizumi and Oikawa, an unbreakable, infinite bond, but more of a casual type. It’s awkward at first, but silence always works for them. After some time, it becomes comfortable.

These pockets of silence come when they eat lunch together, when they practice together, when they do homework together. Shigeru wonders when they started spending so much time with each other, but finds that he doesn’t mind. He picks up small things about Kyoutani, little by little. 

Kyoutani likes ketchup, rather than mustard. Kyoutani is actually a dog lover, despite his hatred of Oikawa’s nickname. Kyoutani sharpens his pencil almost obsessively; Shigeru is considering buying a mechanical one for him someday. Kyoutani is friends with someone from Johzenji, a wild blond boy with a tongue piercing. Kyoutani is kinder than he looks. 

He’s reminded of this last fact sometimes, each occurrence surprising him. Shigeru forgets his incomplete worksheet at the library one day; Kyoutani brings it for him the next, filled out. (He couldn’t turn it in though, since the handwriting was too different.) Shigeru mentions, once, his favorite fruit is pears. Kyoutani gives him pears occasionally, claiming that his dad has a pear tree. 

Eventually, the pockets of silence shrink, although they never disappear. Shigeru appreciates the ease with which they come and go, no longer filled with tension. They talk now, about school assignments and teachers and families and hobbies. More facts are stored in the category “Kyoutani” of Shigeru’s brain. 

When they argue for the third time, and come out of it laughing, Shigeru knows that they are friends.

}:)

Thursday evening, September. Watari and Shigeru wander through the store together, with no real sense of purpose. He swings a shopping basket, filled halfway with things he’ll probably put back on the shelves later.

Pocky, a pint of ice cream, and a pair of socks makes their way into the basket. He leans down and sees a mechanical pencil; it goes in as well. 

Near the back of the store is a stationary section. Watari picks up a plastic-wrapped pack of sticky notes. “This is very Kyoutani-like, don’t you think?”

The sticky notes are pink, with grumpy-looking dogs in each corner. Shigeru laughs out loud. “Oh, it is! I want to buy that for him! Wait, but I already have this mechanical pencil...and these ketchup chips…”

“Yahaba,” says Watari, giving him a strange look.

“Yeah?”

“Emm...it’s nothing.”

Shigeru shrugs and takes the sticky notes anyway.

>:[

“You know, Yahaba-san,” Kunimi begins, watching Kyoutani’s retreating back. Shigeru crunches on a freshly picked pear, enjoying the sweet burst of flavor. The skin is firm and green, just how he likes it.

“Did you know that some species of birds present each other with gifts to court each other? They bring food or materials to build nests with.”

“I didn’t know that. Why are you telling me this?” 

Kunimi only stares at Shigeru for a long moment, then returns to reading his manga. Shigeru finishes the last of the pear, tossing the core into a trash can. 

Shigeru’s not stupid--he knows exactly what was implied. He shakes it off as Kunimi making a joke, alluding to how close they’ve become as friends. Except Kunimi doesn’t make jokes.

}:)

He’s way too close. Shigeru tries to take a deep breath, shove down the blush threatening to overtake his entire face, but only gets a huge whiff of Kyoutani. Or his detergent, but that’s the scent he’s come to associate with him.

They’re in the library, studying. Watari has left to pick up his younger sister. Shigeru had asked a perfectly innocent question about trigonometry, but had received this in return. This being Kyoutani getting up and out of his seat to lean _all_ the way over Shigeru, looking at the problem. Now, Shigeru is realizing many things at a rather inopportune time. 

The fabric of Kyoutani’s shirt brushes against his cheek. “So you take the sine of angle theta and find the cofunction, which is cosine…”

Golden light streaming through a nearby window illuminates the side of Kyoutani’s face, tan skin glowing. He has a new piercing, Shigeru realizes. His heart is beating far too fast, nerves on edge. Shigeru’s positive his face is brilliantly red. 

Thump, thump, his heart betrays. Although it’s far from peaceful, these few seconds share the same timeless quality as the ones from the riverbank. Shigeru won’t forget them, he’s sure. His sweaty palms and Kyoutani’s face, focused but not frowning. 

“Because these two angles are the same, we’ve proved that these two triangles are similar. Do you get it?”

Kyoutani glances down at him. Shigeru can only manage a strangled, “Yes.”

“No you don’t,” sighs Kyoutani. “Bottom line, they’re similar in a one to three ratio. That’s all you need to know.”

Shigeru stares down at the problem. His heart will not calm down, and there’s a thrumming in his blood. “My face is ketchup-flavored right now.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s nothing.” In the corner of his textbook, he doodles a tiny heart and adds a pair of dog ears on top.

>:[

Being in love is easy. There’s no way to not be in love, so Shigeru accepts it as a way of being. He rides the waves of ridiculous nervousness that comes over him, lets the elevated heartbeats and overthinking wash over him. He takes the smiles and conversations that they share and tuck them close to his heart. A box with Kyoutani Kentarou stamped on top, directly linked with a compartment of the same name in his mind.

If he were to be honest, he’s actually surprised at how well he’s taking it. Shigeru doesn’t get angry at Kyoutani, or himself, for having these feelings. He thinks it might be because of Kyoutani, so kind to him that he is even kind to himself, in love. 

He is reminded again when he walks past Kyoutani on the other side of the street. Shigeru’s about to call out when Kyoutani squats down near a bush, making strange motions. The muscles in his back are still visible from such a distance, white fabric stretched thin. 

A small cat darts out, quickly caught by Kyoutani. The cat panics and struggles, swiping its paw across Kyoutani’s face. He still doesn’t release the cat, only holds it further away as he gets up and walks down the street. A girl runs up to him, face streaked with tears. 

Shigeru watches as Kyoutani returns the cat to the girl, then waves aside the thanks from the mother. An unconscious smile forms on his face and he turns away, storing the memory inside the box.

}:)

There’s a white bandage taped onto Kyoutani’s cheek at practice. He catches Shigeru watching him and snaps, “What are you looking at?”

Shigeru only shakes his head and smiles. His heart-box is full to bursting, riverbank and pears and ketchup nestled into the corners, but he knows it always has space for more.

**Author's Note:**

> this has been sitting in the drafts for a long-ish time..i wrote it one evening when i was streaming the new ariana album. felt very warm and very soft. do you think kyouhaba would fall in love like that?


End file.
